Thursday, March 22, 2007
Punishment Essays
My teachers at St. Bede's showed a stunning lack of imagination when it came to punishment:
On the gripping hand, maths/Computer Studies teachers were known to smack you round the head with a textbook if you couldn't teach yourself from it, geography teachers sat kids in oil drums for asking "Why do we have to colour in ANOTHER map?", French teachers made some kneel on pencils for thinking "Ce lecon est merde", and Bertie Noone's "Persuader" was plain inspired.
Unfortunately, such techniques are no longer legally available to me. As Sergeant Greenwood says, "Ten years ago I could have stuck your head through that wall, but now I have to find other ways".
I'm having a lot of success making them dress up in white plastic aprons and cleaning tables at lunch time. I've also had not inconsiderable success in getting some to write me punishment essays on Sir Clive Sinclair's greatest inventions including the Sinclair C5 and the A-bike. The only fly in the ointment is that I think a few of the "naughty" ones are beginning to take an interest and are starting to mess about to see what else he invented...
- "Write a thousand lines on the inside of a ping pong ball" - without giving you an ultra-fine-tipped pen
- "I won't breathe while the teacher is speaking" x 1000
- "Manners maketh man - discuss" - YAWN
On the gripping hand, maths/Computer Studies teachers were known to smack you round the head with a textbook if you couldn't teach yourself from it, geography teachers sat kids in oil drums for asking "Why do we have to colour in ANOTHER map?", French teachers made some kneel on pencils for thinking "Ce lecon est merde", and Bertie Noone's "Persuader" was plain inspired.
Unfortunately, such techniques are no longer legally available to me. As Sergeant Greenwood says, "Ten years ago I could have stuck your head through that wall, but now I have to find other ways".
I'm having a lot of success making them dress up in white plastic aprons and cleaning tables at lunch time. I've also had not inconsiderable success in getting some to write me punishment essays on Sir Clive Sinclair's greatest inventions including the Sinclair C5 and the A-bike. The only fly in the ointment is that I think a few of the "naughty" ones are beginning to take an interest and are starting to mess about to see what else he invented...
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